Things I've Been Afraid To Tell You

I am going to jump on the band wagon and join two other lovely ladies on this trend. I recently saw Erin from Living In Yellow post on her Facebook this post and after reading is, I was inspired. Then Erin posted her own + I knew I needed to be a little more honest with myself + this blog. I feel like as a whole, I'm pretty open as a blogger. I lay a lot of things out here and it IS scary. I know at any moment someone could read this blog and tear me to pieces, thankfully that hasn't happened yet. I find it so helpful to me to be honest with you all but there are things I haven't wrote here, things I'm not sure I've ever told anyone else.

So here some of them are..

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 I struggle a lot with feeling as if I'll "never be good enough" and now that Mikal and I have went our separate ways, it's hit me harder than ever. I feel like these feelings are really going to put a huge hold on me getting out and making new friends and even possibly a new mister in my life.

The thought of being an adult and knowing that I will sooner than later have to fully depend on just myself scares the crap out of me, but I also look forward to being on my own.

I feel like I should have my life more together by now. I'm 21 and I don't feel I have much to show for it. I hate telling people I'm not working or that I'm not in school.. and honestly I don't even know if going to college is the right thing for me. It seems like most of my friends are in college, have good jobs or have a family by now and I have none of that.

I am insanely jealous of the people who can keep up with their blog, post perfect content time after time + maintain social media. I suck so badly at keeping up with things + I don't have anything else to do. I know some people are parents, have jobs and still write kick ass posts.

I, like most people, struggle with body issues. I have always been a heavier person and now my health is more important than ever. I don't want to be stick thin but I know I need to be in better shape.

I make far too many excuses.

I want to pick up a daily vlog channel but then I realize that I have no life and the videos would only be me eating lots of food, watching Netflix and talking to my cat. I have no life.

I want everyone to like me. It's such a curse because I want to please everyone and I know I can't.

I always want to look at the positive side to things but of course I get down too. I know everyone has bad days but I feel so guilty posting about my bad days often. I don't want people to pity me and I feel like I have to be the strong one. I also feel bad when I post about doing things for myself (that involve money, mostly) because I'm worried people will judge me because I should use my money for things like therapy. I don't honestly feel I need to justify where my money goes, but for those of you who MAY wonder: I have many different savings accounts and my sister is in control of all the medical money I get.



Are there things YOU want to get off your chest? Write them out and link them below in the comments!

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