Saturday, May 18, 2013

Paralyzed Diaries: Rude People Suck.

 *this post will be a Sassy Sabrina one. I'm not sorry* 


 So today I took my mom out to dinner. We were just sitting there minding our own business and some people at the bar started making comments (very loudly) about how people should stop "faking" their disabilities to get handicap things.. I'm not sure if this was aimed towards me but this isn't the first time something like this has happened to me. I don't want to seem like I'm complaining but there's a few things I want to address here.

I understand I'm a young lady and it's not common to see a young person in a wheelchair. Overall, I look pretty healthy. Most people that actually ask me what's wrong assume I've broken my legs or something. I've had people say things like "do you REALLY need that chair?" or something of the sort. I don't get it. "faking" a disability? I can understand someone pretending to be in a wheelchair online (they do it to get closer to other wheelchair users.. ) but do you think I'd REALLY go out of my way to spend thousands of dollars on a wheelchair just to get a better parking spot? uhm, no.

I've had people make imply that I'm only using a wheelchair because I'm lazy. This one honestly makes me laugh. I am way more active now that I'm "disabled" than I ever was as an able bodied person. I have to work harder now to do things that were easy for me before. I may not be super fit or anything but I do have to work a lot harder for things now than I have before.

I'm 20 years old, being in a wheelchair isn't glamorous. People aren't like "I wish I couldn't walk." or "Man, I'm SO TOTALLY jealous that your legs don't work. I wanna be just like you" It's not like it's a "cool" thing, so I don't understand why anyone would think I would go out of my way to pretend to be paralyzed. It isn't something people want for themselves, so why would I fake something like that? I just don't understand it. I don't understand why people think it's okay to make such rude comments to me either.

I'm not asking for your sympathy or anything- I'm just asking that you guys think about what you say before you say it. Yes, there are some good things that can come from being in a wheelchair but I'd much rather have a body that worked like I wanted it to than have the "perks" of being in a chair. I don't think it's fair to anyone to judge someone based on what you THINK you know about them. Remember not all disabilities are visible.  
(sorry if this post seems all over the place- I honestly just wrote + published.)

12 comments :

  1. You have to understand that in today's world everyone thinks everyone else is out to get their money, their attention...their Yada Yada whatever they feel they are entitled to... I've met people who have a broken leg and act like they are dying. People expect the worst out of others... And you who I assume (I know you only from your blog. I like you but I know I don't *know* you) are not trying to pull the wool over people's eyes are actually expecting a genuine comment from an individual who doesn't understand your past or who you are at a restaurant or in public. I know you have gone through so much and I can't even imagine what it's like not to have working legs but people will never understand. And people now are raised not to trust others. I know a women with a special needs kid. Everywhere she goes people stare at her kid. Someone even asked why she didn't kill it in the womb. No one but others with special needs or special needs kids can come close to understanding. I am praying for you...

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  2. I can't believe someone would ever say that to someone else. I don't understand why people think it's okay to just spill out their rude comments.. You're so right about everything else though.

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  3. That's messed up. Just straight effed up. Some people deserve to be punched in the nose a few times.

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  5. Well you have a softer heart than I, because if I were there they'd apologize or something of the sort.

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  6. You shouldn't have to justify your disability because of other people's ignorance. To say that everyone in the world is out for a buck is ignorant and stupid, and to make that assumption about someone who happens to be in chair is mean and unnecessary. I'm sorry for anyone that feels that way about the world, but that says more about people's attitude to society rather than the people they're attacking. I have bipolar disorder and fibromyalgia, and as a combination they kick my ass almost daily. Do I have cancer? No, but that doesn't make my journey each day any easier, and people who discredit other people's pain or discomfort are simply nasty. I don't understand why anyone would WANT to deal with these things on a daily basis. Urgh. Annoying.

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    1. I am so sorry to hear about that. I know fibro has so AWFUL pain with it.

      It's just sad. I guess I've noticed myself being angry at others who complain about pains but I realized that JUST because someone can walk doesn't mean that they aren't hurting. I know my dad has had back pain (he has DDD) and it gets him down bad.. and he can walk. I guess I realized you can't go around acting like my pain is worse than others because I don't know that.

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  7. Oh what horrible people!! Obviously you are not in a wheelchair by choice. I am so sorry you had to experience that. It really hit a chord with me when you wrote" remember not all disabilities are visible", so very true. Young people can suffer from things that are typically "reserved" for older people, such as Arthritis and other injuries and limitations. Loved your post, you write from your heart.

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    1. Thank you Laura! I appreciate your words. You're so right about young people suffering from things that are typically "reserved" from older people.. I know it's not common, but the truth is it happens and people should be respectful.

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  8. Oh what horrible people!! Obviously you are not in a wheelchair by choice. I am so sorry you had to experience that. It really hit a chord with me when you wrote" remember not all disabilities are visible", so very true. Young people can suffer from things that are typically "reserved" for older people, such as Arthritis and other injuries and limitations. Loved your post, you write from your heart.

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  9. If I was there with you, I would have slapped them. My grandmother was in a wheel chair pretty much my whole life, so I understand in some ways how comfortable things get. But just hate rude people. So I have developed this bad habit of poor drinking on people or slapping them when making fun of some body with a disability. Just not right!

    Also love that you said not all disabilities are visible since I am one of those that fall under not being visible.

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