Friday, April 12, 2013

Paralyzed Diaries: Dealing with Devotees.

The biggest part of me wishes I didn't feel the need to write this post today. I have had it brought to my attention a lot lately + I want to speak out about it because I want it to stop and I want everyone to be aware of what's going on. I know writing this won't stop people from doing what they want, but maybe it will make you all more aware.

Since I've been pretty open about my spinal cord injury, I get lots of people talking to me about my injury. People ask questions of all kinds + try to befriend me. I've met some amazing friends through this but I've also met some creeps. I have to be very cautious of what I say to certain people (and what I chose to write about here on the blog) because some people out there are only interested for selfish gain.

So, what exactly is a devotee? A devotee is by definition: "an ardent follower, supporter, or enthusiast". I guess a devotee could be fitting for..anything really, However when I say "devotee" I'm talking about people who have sexual fetishes for handicap people. Yup- totally gross. I know that MANY of these people end up here on my blog or on my other social media sites.. I have been very public about my injury and I never realized what all came with it. Much like having an attraction for a girl with blonde hair or men with facial hair, a devotee will search online for people who have disabilities. 

I do not understand WHY this has became a fetish- but I don't understand a lot of things. I want people to accept disability but I do not want my disability to be the reason people are attracted to me. One time someone had the nerve to tell me that I "should be thankful for the newly found attraction that comes with being in a wheelchair"... I was seriously so pissed off by that comment. I'm attractive, chair or no chair, and my chair should NOT be the reason you are attracted to me or not. I want people to accept me no matter what and I do not want my wheelchair to bring me any more added attention- negative or not.

There are a few things I've  noticed when it comes to people who are devotees online. Here are a few:

1. A devotee can and will try to talk to you as much as possible. Mostly about your injury + slowly they will lead to more inappropriate questions.
2. A devotee can pretend to be someone who has a disability in order to get closer to you. If you think you're talking to another people struggling, you are more willing to open up about the personal things about your injury.
3. A devotee can take your personal photos and either pretend to be you OR sell them for money to other people with these fetishes
4. A devotee will ask for pictures from you. Maybe they will ask for pictures of your AFO braces or pictures of you working out. They will seem like harmless pictures but do NOT share such things if you're not comfortable with it. 

In order to keep myself safe, I've made my Facebook page private and do not add people I don't feel comfortable with. I made my Instagram private + check out EACH user that tries to follow me. My twitter is public and I try not to post too much personal stuff on there because I do not want to make my twitter private. I can typically tell if someone is a devotee though. If an instagram account follows me that doesn't have any pictures, low number of followers and is following lots of my SCI friends, I block them right away. Same with Facebook. If I get an email from someone who is asking about personal things, I typically do not reply to them. I know what I feel comfortable talking with people about + I won't let ANYONE try to get information out of me that I don't want to share with people.

I have a list of people that I know are creeps but the sad thing is that people can make new accounts on the daily + it's hard to keep up with everyone. Thankfully, I have friends who keep an eye out for creeps. One of my IG friends said she has thought about making a database full of the creepers we find so that we can better protect our friends and spread more awareness about this. The sad thing is many of my friends with disabilities don't even know about devotees + the scary reality about them. 

If you're someone with disabilities and want to protect yourself, please remember the things I do to keep myself safe. Do not share things with people you're uncomfortable with + know your limits and stick to them.


12 comments :

  1. wow, thats really scary. I kinda know how your feel (a little) my hair is red and people keep trying to touch it! Very weird.

    Hugs!

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    1. Yeah. It is scary. Always have to protect yourself

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  2. I'm gonna go punch those people in the face... or other places. BBL.

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  3. Wow! I thought the devotee creepers all had their own community with people who have disabilities and don't mind being looked at as a kind of prey... If your IG friend happens to make a database with a list of all of them, I'd like the link! I have readers with disabilities, and I would fully support that database!

    I didn't know that people would just... that is absolutely horrendous, and I'm at such a loss for words.

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    1. I didn't know about it until someone sent me a message on YouTube. I thought it was spam + then I started getting emails from these people + odd requests about doing videos of me working out + people wanting to see my leg braces. after meeting other spinal cord injury friends, they told me that people will seriously hunt you down online + be super creeps.

      I will let you know if we get a database going.

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  4. such a good post here :) im sorry to hear about your injury!
    I think it is vile that you are treat this way by devotees, I am proud of you for standing up for yourself and putting it on here to make more people aware! xx

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    1. Thanks for reading lady. I checked out your blog + I think I am going to LOVE being a follower. Thanks for reading and commenting.

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  5. wow that is SUPER creepy!!! fetishes are so odd. each to their own I guess but it seems like when people have sexual fetishes they sort of push them on other people. for example, people with foot fetishes constantly commenting on pictures of peoples pedicures and stuff on instagram. it's so invasive...keep your fetishes to yourself! sorry to hear about your injury-- but you're right. you're beautiful either way! i've just found your blog through a giveaway and i'm defs a new follower :)

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    1. yes. To each their own but I don't want to be brought into it. I understand some girls MAY want to pose for such pictures + are okay with knowing that someone is getting pleasure from their picture- but I don't want to have to worry about that. I'm sure people who post pedicures don't wanna worry about some person getting pleasure from their awesome toes, they just want to show off their awesome toes. ya know? It's sick.

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  6. This is something I've experienced, though not in the same way. A lot of fat fetish blogs will reblog pictures of me or other women like me because of our body types. It has nothing to do with me as a person instead it's just because I'm a fat lady. I don't know how many times I've talked about how I am not a bbw or a fetish.

    It's not the same I realize but I do feel your pain. I try and be ... tolerant of other people and understand that it takes all kinds, but when someone is using my outfit pictures as their jerk off material it's hard not to get upset.

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    1. Yeah- I am glad you understand it. It's not that I don't mind having people think I'm cute or whatever but I don't want people to JUST see me as a wheelchair. I hate the extra attention it brings me- positive and negative. I just want to go through a day and feel like a "normal" person.

      It makes me feel less as a person + more as.. object. I don't post pictures of me in my chair for someone to get sexual pleasure from, I post them because it's me, it's who I am. I don't want to hide myself or act like I'm ashamed of the chair, but I don't want to know that someone is jerking off to my wheels. The same is very true for you + I'm so sorry that people do that to you..

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