Monday, March 18, 2013

Music Monday + Update.

I won't lie- I don't even like country and this weeks playlist is full of it..why? Mikal.. that's why. Every since Mikal + I started dating, I've been listening to it a lot because he likes it.. so it is making  I am okay with it though. (: Take a listen to the playlist and tell me what you think. I did add a few random songs in there too. I really dig that Sherwood song.


Last week I wrote that I would be moving back to Illinois + at the time, I thought that was the best choice for me. Mikal packed my things up + we moved them into my dads house. I spent the weekend with Mikal at his house + spent a lot of time thinking + praying. After a day of being in Illinois, I realized I needed to be back in Tennessee

Being in Illinois means I will be on my own. I am trying to get my own apartment (still trying because I want to eventually be on my own + handicap apartments are hard to come by) + I really should have planned things out before I made such a quick decision. I really have to focus on what's best for my health + my recovery- I want to walk again. Even if I don't walk again, I want to make sure I can be 100% independent and I'm not sure that just jumping into that situation is best for me.  

I miss Illinois + I miss everyone there but in order for me to get better I need to have my focus 100% on therapy and bettering myself. In Illinois, I would have to be really self disciplined + that just isn't me. I have the distraction of friends there and I'm worried I wouldn't put my all into therapy. Living with my mom, I have her to depend on if I need it. She is a stay at home mom, so she can take me back and forth to therapy + help me around that house if I need it. Together we are going to work on getting me to my fullest independence so that soon I can go back to Illinois + not be worried about the choice I'm making.

I really hope everyone understands why I made the choice to come back to Tennessee for now. I will be back in Illinois soon + I can share all the exciting things about being on my own again. Being 20 + not having the freedom I want is hard but in order for me to have that freedom later in life, I have to make some hard adult choices that mean growing up and putting my health before having fun. (it sucks but I will thank myself later). I appreciate that prayers though.

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