On being 20

Today's a bittersweet day for me. It's almost been four months since my car accident and I'm so thankful I'm able to celebrate twenty years of life. I always joke with my parents I never was an easy child, being in the hospital for a while when I was born, eye surgery, my braces and then my car accident. I'm always keeping them on their toes I guess.

Like i said, I'm so thankful im here to celebrate life. I mean, my car accident really opened my eyes to see just how precious time on earth is. Sometimes I do wonder what Heaven would be like and if I would have been greeted with smiles and open arms by my grandma and other family members who are watching over me. I defiently think that someone was with me that day I wrecked and I know heaven wasn't ready for me and I'm really thankful I have some time to make up for things I wouldn't have before if my car wreck would have taken my life.

It's also a little sad. I'm In a place where I've yet to meet friends, I've been in a lot of pain lately and I really didn't expect to be spending my 20th birthday in a wheelchair. It's been hard for me to realize I'm no longer a teenager and I'm getting older. I don't feel like I should be 20 yet. It's not old by any means but i just feel like.."wow. I'm an adult. I have to do adult things." I don't know if that makes sense to anyone else. It's just a weird feeling for me.

I got to celebrate a little early though. I got a birthday cupcake, balloon and songs at therapy on Friday. I've been standing on the parallel bars with little help so that's also a birthday gift to myself. I got lots of birthday cards in the mail and a sweet new texture iron from my sister. Among other things she picked up for me. I had birthday dinner tonight with my mum and step dad where we all got free ice cream (the kitchen over made a dessert..so some random waiter gave it to us plus my birthday ice cream) and I'm also picking out a new wheelchair. A lady at a wheel chair place will be coming to measure me this week and hopefully we order one. That'd be a good birthday gift because the chair I have now is killing my back and leaving bruises all over my legs. Plus, it's such a hassle. It'll be so much better when I get a new one.

Thanks for being here for me, guys. I really appreciate you taking time to read this and all the positive feedback I get. Here's to being 20 and another good year of progress for me. Hopefully this time next year I will be walking. A girl can always hope, right?