Paralyzed Diaries: Dealing with Devotees.

The biggest part of me wishes I didn't feel the need to write this post today. I have had it brought to my attention a lot lately + I want to speak out about it because I want it to stop and I want everyone to be aware of what's going on. I know writing this won't stop people from doing what they want, but maybe it will make you all more aware.

Since I've been pretty open about my spinal cord injury, I get lots of people talking to me about my injury. People ask questions of all kinds + try to befriend me. I've met some amazing friends through this but I've also met some creeps. I have to be very cautious of what I say to certain people (and what I chose to write about here on the blog) because some people out there are only interested for selfish gain.

So, what exactly is a devotee? A devotee is by definition: "an ardent follower, supporter, or enthusiast". I guess a devotee could be fitting for..anything really, However when I say "devotee" I'm talking about people who have sexual fetishes for handicap people. Yup- totally gross. I know that MANY of these people end up here on my blog or on my other social media sites.. I have been very public about my injury and I never realized what all came with it. Much like having an attraction for a girl with blonde hair or men with facial hair, a devotee will search online for people who have disabilities. 

I do not understand WHY this has became a fetish- but I don't understand a lot of things. I want people to accept disability but I do not want my disability to be the reason people are attracted to me. One time someone had the nerve to tell me that I "should be thankful for the newly found attraction that comes with being in a wheelchair"... I was seriously so pissed off by that comment. I'm attractive, chair or no chair, and my chair should NOT be the reason you are attracted to me or not. I want people to accept me no matter what and I do not want my wheelchair to bring me any more added attention- negative or not.

There are a few things I've  noticed when it comes to people who are devotees online. Here are a few:

1. A devotee can and will try to talk to you as much as possible. Mostly about your injury + slowly they will lead to more inappropriate questions.
2. A devotee can pretend to be someone who has a disability in order to get closer to you. If you think you're talking to another people struggling, you are more willing to open up about the personal things about your injury.
3. A devotee can take your personal photos and either pretend to be you OR sell them for money to other people with these fetishes. 
4. A devotee will ask for pictures from you. Maybe they will ask for pictures of your AFO braces or pictures of you working out. They will seem like harmless pictures but do NOT share such things if you're not comfortable with it. 

In order to keep myself safe, I've made my Facebook page private and do not add people I don't feel comfortable with. I made my Instagram private + check out EACH user that tries to follow me. My twitter is public and I try not to post too much personal stuff on there because I do not want to make my twitter private. I can typically tell if someone is a devotee though. If an instagram account follows me that doesn't have any pictures, low number of followers and is following lots of my SCI friends, I block them right away. Same with Facebook. If I get an email from someone who is asking about personal things, I typically do not reply to them. I know what I feel comfortable talking with people about + I won't let ANYONE try to get information out of me that I don't want to share with people.

I have a list of people that I know are creeps but the sad thing is that people can make new accounts on the daily + it's hard to keep up with everyone. Thankfully, I have friends who keep an eye out for creeps. One of my IG friends said she has thought about making a database full of the creepers we find so that we can better protect our friends and spread more awareness about this. The sad thing is many of my friends with disabilities don't even know about devotees + the scary reality about them. 

If you're someone with disabilities and want to protect yourself, please remember the things I do to keep myself safe. Do not share things with people you're uncomfortable with + know your limits and stick to them.